Does It Matter?

Does it matter? This is the prominent question in my life over the last week. I have been wrestling with some inner thoughts and struggles and my husband has been the best during this time. We have been working at the same office since the end of July and I can truly say that this is a blessing for me. Most people don't think they could work with their spouses, day in and day out, but I grew up with my parents doing it with no problem and I am the same way.

I have always been one to focus too much or even entirely on what others' think or what society thinks. I worry over what others think of my clothes, my weight, my lifestyle...bad, I know but it is true. I have always been this way and God has seen me struggle with this and blessed me with a wonderful, inspiring, patient husband. My husband truly is an example of what God wants us each to be - he is always patient, never quick to anger, very laid back, very goal driven, accepting that he knows God must be present in our lives and accepting of me as I am. I have always been a plus size woman and to be honest, I may always be this way. But this does not mean that I don't feel pressure from society and others to be the "accepted" and desirable size 8.

This situation has been forefront in my mind lately since my husband and I have decided we are going to try and start our family next fall. Saturday evening we went out to dinner and at dinner we talked about our priorities and what we need to work on next year. My husband wants me to focus and work on my priorities only - not my weight, not my lack of exercising - my priorites. He wants me to accept that my priorities should be God, spouse, children, family, friends. NO society - NO others -NO people I will never see again. He says that when I begin to worry or doubt myself or concern myself with what others think, I need to stop and say one thing "Does it matter?" Nine times out of ten - the answer will be no. So this is my goal for the upcoming year...to focus on things that should matter, nothing else. My husband says when I do this and make it a habit, then everything else will fall into place. That sounds heavenly to me.

Two Weeks to Enjoy Before BUSY time!

Doesn't this picture look wonderful? Oh, how I wish Matt and I could do this...we both secretly long for a vacation. Unfortunately, Matt won't start earning vacation until the end of July 2010. So right now we just have to dream about it and talk about how wonderful it would be. We have 1-2 weeks of trying to get some resting and relaxation in before our busy November starts. It is unbelievable how busy November is shaping up to be!

Starting with Tuesday, October 27th - we are going to the Dallas Mavericks game, the season opener, after work.

Then on Sunday, November 1st, we are going to the Dallas Cowboys game (at the new stadium), playing at noon versus the Seahawks.

For the whole week of November 1st-7th, we are going to be house sitting and dog sitting for my parents who will be out of town.

November 13-15th, I will be in Houston, spending the weekend with my college roommate and going to the famous Nutcracker Market.

November 18th, we will be going to the Dallas Mavericks game versus the San Antonio Spurs - our rivals!!

The very next weekend, November 20-22nd, Matt and I will both be in Houston visiting his brother and his family. Then, that next week is Thanksgiving!! WHEW!

And last but NOT least, Matt's birthday is on November 30th.

I don't know about you but we are going to be BUSY!! Once all this is over with, it will be December and Christmas!! The end of this year is going to fly by....but on a good note, I did some awesome shopping yesterday and got my college roommate's Christmas gift all done as well as the gift for my Christmas Swap Partner, Anne Marie.

Little by Little

Happy Labor Day weekend to everyone! Hope everyone is having a relaxing and blessed Saturday....hubby and I's day started WAY earlier than we planned. We were both up around 6-6:15 am, not something we planned but our bodies were against us. So since we were up, we stopped by the Starbucks drive thru where we each had a grande no whip White Chocolate Mocha...yummy!! We then stopped by the Allen Premium Outlets to see if we could pick up any deals...only really found one, I was able to get a pair of Eddie Bauer denim capris for $15.00. After the outlets, we stopped by HomeGoods and looked around for decor for the house and we got LUCKY!! We have been looking for some sign or picture to hang above our kitchen sink and we finally found one! And it was on sale for $5.00!! We both love it...see what you think.

Overview of sign above sink


Closeup of sign


Tomorrow we are planning to do some odds and ends around the house and have a late lunch/early dinner with hubby's parents. We also need to complete our monthly budget and meal plan for the upcoming week. What fun things are you doing this weekend??

First Item Done on 1001 Things to Do List

Well, I completed one item from my 1001 Things to Do List! One down and 1000 more to go....the item I am referring to is going to a Dallas Cowboys game at their brand new stadium. Well hubby and I were blessed with this surprise on Friday afternoon when we got the call, asking us if we would like to go to the preseason game Saturday night...for free! Two tickets and a parking pass to the new stadium, all thanks to a customer of my father. We were thrilled to go and boy, is it a thing to behold! I have seen pictures of it on TV but trust me, they do not do it justice...you have to see it up close and personal to take it all in. Here are some pictures from our night on Saturday....






And guess what?? We were blessed enough to receive another set of tickets for a real season game on November 1st versus Seattle Seahawks....from another customer of my parents! We cannot wait to go back but we did have dinner before we went to the stadium at the TGI Friday's nearby because we are NOT paying $18.00 for a hamburger! Sorry Jerry!

Do You See Seagulls?

When you look at the above picture, do you see the brilliant blue of the sky with the tiny wisps of white? Do you see the teal to crystal clearness of the ocean? Can you just imagine the calmness and gentleness of being in those surroundings? Or do you just see the seagulls?

A saying my mother says to me when I overworry or doubt is "Don't put seagulls in your picture". In other words, do not worry about things or obstacles that are not there - do not force things to appear in your situation or your life that wouldn't necessarily have been there to begin with. I wish I didn't do this, I wish I don't worry or "put seagulls" in my picture but I do. How else do you think I have memorized this saying? My poor mother has said it to me over and over again and sometimes still says it.

Today I heard one of the most disheartening things I think I have heard in awhile. My husband and I have been working on losing weight for about a month now. We have both lost about 14-15 pounds. This last week has been very bad for us, diet wise. We splurged a few food items that we haven't had in over a month. I asked my husband today if he could be happy the way he is right now....and he said no. He said he wants to lose 20 more pounds. Please keep in mind that my husband is 6 feet tall and if he loses 20 more pounds, he will be 180. That is thin for someone of his height - I think he looks great now but he doesn't agree. I wish the goal was for something more detailed like "lowering cholesterol" or "better blood pressure reading" but no, it is for overall look and clothing. How far has our society come that everything is based on how you look in clothes? Not if you are happy with yourself or your life, not if you are a Christian and know God but if you wear a certain dress size. I think that this is extremely disheartening.

I mean I know, more than most, the struggle of weight and scale readings. I have always been what some would call a "plus size" girl. I even wondered through high school if I would ever meet that special person who would accept me for me and not a certain dress size. I did...my husband was the first person, ever, who saw me for me and allowed me to be the biggest nerd (which I know I am). I just seem to have gotten sucked back into the society mainstream of how we should look and what we should dress like instead of wanting to be better for me. In fact if we weren't planning to try and start a family late next year, I don't think I would be worrying about a diet. I have to find a way to live life as it comes, to encourage my husband towards his goals and to not get discouraged when I have so far to go to achieve mine. How do you stay above the water and stay on track? Especially with something that seems insurmountable.

(photograph borrowed from National Geographic Photography)

Fabulous and Wonderful!

Today has been a busy day, that is for sure. It started with me up at 6:45 am. Hubby and I were house and dog sitting for my parents who were moving my brother and sister into their colleges this weekend. So I guess being in a different surrounding and a different bed encouraged my body to get up and out of bed before 7 am. Hubby wasn't far behind me so we decided to stop by Panera Bread Company and get 2 chocolate chip bagels for breakfast, along with our MUCH needed coffee.

After a quick stop at Walmart and taking my parents' dog, Jake, on a walk, we were headed to Grapevine for the day. Hubby had his fantasy football draft with guys from the church he grew up in and I was having lunch out with my mother in law as well as taking in a movie. We had a lovely lunch at Panera (see a trend here?) where I had 1/2 bowl of garden veggie soup and 1/2 classic cafe salad. We made a pitstop at Barnes and Noble and then to the movie theater where we saw the BEST movie! Julie and Julia! I was interested in seeing it when I saw the previews for it but it was so much better than I expected.

Meryl Streep and Amy Adams are wonderful! Meryl nailed Julia's accent and her entire lovely personality and Amy was just SO lovable...I think everyone can relate to this movie. It was so inspiring and FUNNY! I, for one, cannot wait for the DVD to come out. I highly recommend you see this....go now...don't walk, run!

It Seems It is Over

I am finding out today that there is one dream I am going to have to accept will never come true. I have always grown up with a dog in my family. I am 27 years old and ever since I was born, we have owned a dog. In the last 27 years, my parents have had 6 dogs - ranging from Cocker Spaniels to Norwegian Elkhounds to Labs. I love dogs and as I got older I fell in love with pugs. I loved the small, squished faces and their overall personalities. My husband and I have been married for 5 years now and during that time we have tried to have a dog twice.

During our first year of marriage, while hubby was in law school in Lubbock, we made the mistake of getting a pug puppy. She was adorable and so cute..unfortunately the timing wasn't right and we couldn't give her the time and attention she needed. Luckily, the breeder was very understanding and took her back and promised she would find the perfect home for her. The second time, we rushed into adopting two pugs from a rescue. They were "supposedly" brother and sister which we found out was completely untrue and even more so, they fought a lot. I think the previous owners found this out and tried to pawn them off on the rescue. Unfortunately, the rescue would not allow them to be separated so we did not keep them. We only had them for maybe a week, if that.

I was secretly hoping and hinting to hubby that I would still like a dog. We both have a stable job now and a house with a nice backyard - perfect for a dog. Unfortunately, hubby says he has been "burned" twice and any time I bring up the notion he ignores it or doesn't say anything. I thought I found the perfect dog online...available at the Humane Society, a corgi/dachshund mix who is very laid-back, crate trained and house trained. I showed the picture to hubby...he didn't want to have anything to do with it. I asked when he thought he would be ready for a dog since we have decided we are going to be trying for a child in the next 12-15 months and I would like to have a dog settled and at ease before bringing home a baby. He didn't have an answer to that and I could tell by the look in his eyes that he doesn't want a dog anymore and he just doesn't know how to tell me. Sigh....

I have never been one to accept changes easily...I have to figure a way to wrap my head around the new change and I have a feeling, that for someone like me who has always grown up with dogs around, this will be hard.